Batman Porn Story: Whos Using Who Chapter 4

Authors
Note:
I have no clue how real trials go, so dont kill me if this trial
makes no sense.

—

Boss!
Zeke whined I gotta pee! Can the rest of us have the bathroom,
please!? In the Stersmat mansion, the men, Zeke, Bart, a blond man
named Luther and Julian were lined up at the bathroom door, looking
unsettled with their legs crossed over the other, with the same thing
in mind: Their need to use the bathroom.

Go
use the others! Scar shouted back, over her shower in the
bathroom. We got, like, ten of them!

Where
are they?

Hell,
if I know! Scar answered We need a map for this place or
something. Someone call the contractor or City Hall or wherever
blueprints are kept and get mine!

Every
man looked at the butler. Julian whined softly before said Yes,
Master. before leaving into another room. Well, Bart, who
was second in line behind his Dad said That solves one problem.

You
all of right, Narbe?
The blonde asked :Er.. You take long time, Frau…
Luther was thinner then the other Muscle in the Pack with untamed
bright yellow hair and a long beard hanging from his chin.

Im
fine! The woman said Im just getting ready for Pengys
trial today. All the men all let out a collective groan. Whats
that supposed to mean? Scar asked

The
Penguins an animal lover, thats good, but hes so… Bart
paused disfigured. Hes only got six fingers for Gods sake!

The
shower turned off and the men heard Scarlet fumble through the towels
to find one not covered in lion fur. Who are you to judge based on
how one looks? Your Dads only got one eye!

Hey!
Zeke spoke up Id gladly lose my eye if it meant my son was
going to turn out like you, Boss.

Ill
take that as a compliment. Scarlet muttered. She stepped out of
the bathroom, towel wrapped tightly around both her thin body and
long hair. Zeke quickly ran into the now-empty room to relieve
himself. Now, lets see if I cant find my wardrobe. She
said to herself walking down the long tall hallway.

Shouldnt
you be getting ready for that Charity Party at Waynes place?
Bart asked.

Scarlet
scoffed I can go to Ozzys trial AND
be back in time for the Party. After all the time Ive been in
court, its about time Scarlet Stersmat got some good press.

—

Penguin
tapped his fingers on the wooden table and groaned. First, they
dragged him to court, literally, and then they leave him handcuffed
to the Defendants table with an untold amount of time to wait for
the judge to arrive. Nothin to do but wait, and he hated waiting
so very much.

Mr.
Cobblepot. A woman asked. Penguin looked up to see a young woman
in high heels with bright blond hair in a bun wearing a dark grey
shirt and skirt about knee length. She gently smiled from cheek to
rosy red cheek and said Hi. Im your attorney, Sasha Striker.
She held out her hand. Penguin frowned, but shook the womans hand.
Sasha continued Ive read your files and I got some good
arguments in mind.

Is
that right? Penguin muttered, uninterested.

Just
stay quiet and look pretty, and youll be out of here in no time.
The woman said.

Sure,
I will. Oswald muttered. He knew as well as anyone that everyone
thought he was crazy. He didnt think he was crazy, but if you
dont think youre insane, then you are
insane. Only if you think youre crazy are you truly sane.

Court
is in session. The Bailiff called in the courtroom All rise for
the Honorable Judge Thomas Hudspeth presiding. Everyone in the
room stood up as the Judge walked up to his podium. All, except
Penguin who was idly tugging at his handcuff. Sasha elbowed him hard
and mouthed for him to stand up. Penguin groaned but got out of his
seat.Please, be seated. The Judge stated

As
soon as I get up… Penguin said quietly before sitting back down.

The
case is The Penguin Versus The City of Gotham.

Objection,
your honor. Sasha stated, raising a hand in the air.

You
cant object the Judge, Ms. Striker. The judge said.

Im
objecting to the Term Penguin, sir. Sasha stated, leaning
her chair back. Last time I checked, a Penguin was a flightless
Arctic bird, not the name or species of my client. She raised an
eyebrow in know-it-all-ism as she continued As stated in the trial
Gotham
Vs. Ethan Bennett/Clayface,
My client has a name. and my clients name is Oswald
Chesterfield Cobblepot. If you want to bring a legal battle against a
Penguin, the Zoos only a 10 minute drive from here.

Fine,
Ms. Striker, youve made youre point. This case is now Gotham
Vs. Cobblepot. Mr. Dent, is the Prosecution ready to make its
opening statements?

A man
in a light grey suit stood up and said I am, your Honor. He
walked over to the Jury. He paused for a moment before speaking I
know what youre thinking.

Good,
Ms. Striker said out loud then I dont have to tell you your
pants zipper is down. The on-lookers snickered but the judges
pounding gavel silenced them.

Ms.
Striker, you are out of order. He said.

So
is the candy machine in the lobby and no ones making a Federal
case out of that.

Penguin
purposely banged his forehead on the edge of the table before closing
his eyes.. This couldnt really be happening to him. Im
dead. He told himself.

Ms.
Striker…

Ok,
Ok,. Ill be quiet. Sasha said happily Ive had my fun.
Continue. She waved her hand to the Prosecutor.

Clearly,
the Defense thinks she can lie her client out of the mess he made.
The Prosecutor laughed. Weve all seen the news. He told the
jury This man as been caught for Grande Theft, Larceny, Aggravated
Assault, Destruction of Personal and Public Property, Resisting
Arrest, Possession of Multiple Concealed Weapons, Attempted Murder,
Escaping Police Custody, the list goes on. And this woman wants to
put him
out on the street? He pointed his hand at Penguin This man
tried to hold Gotham, our town, for ransom and Ms. Striker wants him
released? She must be as nutty as he is!

Objection!
Sasha spoke up Two things! One, Mr. Dent isnt qualified to
testify to my nor my clients state of mind and second for
relevance; my insanity is not part of this case.

I
withdraw my last statement. The Prosecutor stated to the judge. He
turned back to the jury and said Do Gotham a favor and do the
right thing. He told them before saying Prosecution rests for
now, your honor.

Very
well, Mr. Dent. The judge noted Ms. Striker, Your opening
statements, please?

Ill
keep it brief, your Honor. She said as she stood up Wish me
luck. She whispered to Penguin. Penguin groaned. They might as
well send him back to Arkham.

So,
Sasha started. How many of you caught my first Objection? Raise
you hand if you do. All 12 Jurors raised their hand. Good, you
can put them down now. She said Oswalds gone by the title
The Penguin during his Crime Career for about 9, 10
months now. Next question! How many of you know why he calls himself
that?

Oswald
opened his eyes and looked at his attorney. She couldnt be talking
about…

No
one knows? She asked, faking surprise. You see, unlike Oswalds
so-call Fellow Super-Criminals, he does not look as he does now
because of some accident or surgery. He was born looking as he does.

Objection,
relevance! Mr. Dent stated His appearance means nothing in this
case!

Justice
is blind, Ms. Striker. The judge agreed Please, if there is a
point…

I
understand, Your Honor. Sasha said. If you were 6 or 7 years
old, what would say about Mr. Cobblepots appearance? Hmm? Certainly,
nothing positive. Now imagine being barraged everyday by your
so-called Peers hating and insulting you because of something
you couldnt control? Sure, Justice is blind, but teens and
children arent. You see, ever since he was young, he has been
dubbed The Penguin by his classmates, a name he has most
certainly tried to bury but others refused to out of spite and the
thrill of tormenting a poor young boy.

Two
more minutes, wrap it up please. The Judge interrupted.

Im
not saying my client is insane… but he has every reason for
aggravated behavior. You, the City of Gotham, drove him to be this
way everyday one of you talked about him harshly you, or someone you
know, added more weight to him until he hit a breaking point at–

Objection,
shes not qualified to testify to Penguins state of mind!

Actually,
I AM.
Sasha interrupted Mr. Dent. I majored in Psychology and got a
bachelors degree in the subject. More than enough to qualify to
testify my clients state of mind. Object that, Harvey!

Mr.
Dent glanced down and retook his seat. Great, Sasha said I
forgot where I was going with this… Defense rests for now. She
ended before walking back to her seat.

Alright,
Ms. Striker. The Judge said Mr. Dent, you may call your first
witness.

I
call Bruce Wayne to the stand. Harvey said.

Is
Mr. Wayne present at this time? The Judge asked

I
am. Bruce Wayne stood up from the benched crowd and walked to the
stand. Penguin sneered in hate as Bruce was sworn in and took a seat.
Harvey Dent walked up to him.

Please
state you name and occupation for the record. The Prosecutor
stated.

Im
Bruce Wayne, CEO of Wayne Industries. Bruce responded

Now,
tell us of some personal instances youve had with Penguin. Dent
said

Your
Honor. Sasha started

Yes,
yes, he has a name. The judge sighed Mr. Dent, please, dont
start Ms. Striker off on another rant, please.

Sorry,
your Honor. Harvey turned back to Bruce. Tell us of some
troubles youve experienced because of Oswald.
He stressed Penguins name as he glanced at the woman harshly.

Besides
the fact he tore apart my mansion for no good reason? Bruce asked.

I
HAD A GOOD REASON TO!
Penguin yelled but Sasha quickly slapped her hand over Penguins
mouth and forced him back into his seat.

I
thought I told you to keep quiet! Sasha whispered through angry
teeth.

Your
honor, Dent turned to the Judge Permission to treat the Defense
as hostile?

HOSTILE?!
Penguin got out of his seat and leaned across the table as far as his
handcuff allowed him to. ILL
SHOW YOU HOSTILE!
I
should have all that stuff Wayne has!

Your
Honor, Sasha said Id like to call on myself for incompetence
for taking this case… She groaned as guards restrained her
client as he thrashing about against them. She slid deeper into her
chair as Harvey Dent walked up to her desk and said pleasantly You
wanna go to recess?

Yeah.
The woman muttered.

Very
well, The judge declared Court is adjourned until the defendant
can control himself. A bang of his gavel and the court slowly
emptied, until the only ones left were Sasha, Penguin and the guards
who were now carrying the bird-man to the backroom to talk with his
attorney.

—

What
the hell is wrong with you?! Sasha yelled. They were in a barren
nearly dark room with only an overhead lightbulb for light. It was
almost like an interrogation room without the two-way mirror.

What
do ya mean by that?! Penguin yelled back, his hand now secured in
the shackles from the Asylum. I just-!

You
just blew what I was trying to set up, thats
what!
The once calm fun woman now appeared furious. When I tell you to
shut up, it means you should shut
up!
She pounded a fist into the table between them before continuing
Would it get the message across if I put you in a hay-filled nest,
got a sock puppet to look like a mother Penguin and fed you fish with
it!? Would that make you listen?!

Youre
crazy, you know that?! Penguin told the woman

Yes,
I do! She honestly answered In fact, the only difference
between you and me is that Im smart enough NOT
to get caught!

NO
ONE TALKS TO A COBBLEPOT LIKE THAT!
Penguin yelled. The woman didnt flinch, she knew he was chained to
the bolted down table.

Looks
like I just did! She stated as sternly as she could. In a second,
she grabbed Penguins shirt and hauled his up to her face. I
know better then anyone about the past. She spoke in a soft,
surprisingly regretful sounding tone. If you cant let it go,
itll tear you apart like an angry lion attacking in slow motion.
You wont notice a thing until your souls been rotted from the
inside out and youre old and alone wondering why you turned out so
miserably.

If
her words werent scary enough, her tone and expression drilled
themselves into Oswalds head. He felt it before… something
almost exactly like this…. was it that strange night in the
Cemetery? He could easily imagine Sasha with those controlling red
eyes he vaguely remembered. Only… with her it was slower and
softer. Instead of a flooding desire to obey, it was a growing,
almost nagging sensation to listen to the woman.

Uh..

Sasha
scoffed at the mans answer and threw him back into his seat before
she started to pace in front of him. After a minute or so of Penguin
watching her pace, she spoke up.

If
youre gonna help me pull an ace out of your ass, you better stand
up. She laughed.. Seeing that Penguin didnt get the joke, she
sighed and left the room. Hes just screwed himself from here
all the way to next November. She muttered I gotta act fast or
its Good-bye, Success Streak and Hello, First Failed Plan
of My Life…

—

I
dont get it, Boss. Zeke told the locked Bathroom door. Why
waste time with that mutant?

That
Mutant is the only semi-sane man whos willing to disclose all of
Arkhams security and layout to us for something as idiotic as
money. Scarlet answered. She opened the door, drying her wet hair.
But he better be worth me dyeing my hair blond and putting on all
that makeup before the big party at Waynes.

Why
dont you do what youve done your whole life, Auntie Scar?
Bart asked Just let this identity drop off the face of the Earth
and be someone else.

No,
The Penguins coupled me with the name Scarlet Stersmat. I
have to keep this persona alive until he can be trusted to be in the
loop about us. And I dont even know how
Im gonna tell him I dressed up like a lawyer to defend his case
and keep a close eye on him. Hed think I was crazy…

I
see. Bart muttered Ya know, I thought you looked nice as a
blonde.

Nice?
Zeke asked She was so hot I just wanted to tackle her and

If
the word Rape or Sex comes into that sentence at all, I
will personally neuter you with my bare hands! Scarlet snapped.
Zeke fell silent before running into another room.

See,
Bart? Scarlet said kindly to the 13-year-old. Threaten a mans
genitals and hell back off like a mouse.

Geez,
Bart said So, how you gonna get Pengy out of the grave hes dug
himself?

I…
Scarlet hung the towel around her neck I dont know. Ive
never not known before… Its… Its weird… She took a
hairbrush out of her belts pocket and started combing her frazzled
hair. As soon as Bruce Wayne got in the mix, he lost his mind. He
got all anxious, hormonal and stupid like… like…

Like
my Dad when he finds a new hooker to spend a night in a motel with?

Precisely!

So…
Bruce Wayne is Cobblepots hooker?

Boy,
never ever
say or think that again! Scarlet warned And I meant in a
territorial hormonal, not sexual, reproductive hormonal.

Sorry.
Bart quickly answered. Bart paused for a second Hmm… Me thinks a
sedative would do the trick and keep him calm tomorrow.

And
how would I sneak it to him? Scarlet asked, throwing the wet towel
on the floor. Julian quickly picked it up and folded the towel under
his arm. I cant just say Youre crazy. Take these drug so
you dont screw yourself up any farther.!

Give
him a peace offering. Put it in a tuna sandwich or something. A man
that larges probably never turned away food in his life. Bart
answered

Great
idea! Scarlet said. She wrapped her long, smooth, black hair in a
ponytail and picked up a decorative cane from an umbrella stand by
the front door before saying If anyone asks, Ill claim it as my
own.

I
know the drill. Bart answered

Up,
up and off we go, J. She said to her butler. We got a charity
to crash.

Yes,
Master. Julian bowed before opening the door. Scarlet walked
through the door, twirling the cane and Julian locked it as he left.

—

Sasha
gently elbowed her clients shoulder. What? Penguin muttered.

Brought
cha something. Sasha unlocked her briefcase and handed the man a
sandwich in a plastic bag.

A
sandwich? Cobblepot asked. Why?

To
make up for yelling at you. She shrugged. Its not much,
but Penguin grabbed the bag out of the womans hand, taking
her by surprise, unwrapped it and took a bite. It almost sounded like
he muttered a thanks.

Sasha
smiled and folded her hands together in front of her as the bailiff
called Court is back in session.

Hope
you can keep that thing
under control this time, Striker. Harvey Dent smiled

Id
bet my Law Licence on it. Sasha said, glancing at Penguin when he
let out a yawn.

Once
the trail got underway, Bruce Wayne was again called and sworn in.
All eyes went to Oswald who was laying his head and arms on the
table, looking pretty drowsy. Mr. Wayne, please tell the court
what Mr. Cobblepot has done to you.

The
first time I met the Penguin

I
keep objecting that, Sasha said can we please
pay attention to my words for five minutes, people?!

Ms,
Striker, The judge told her We understand your point but for
the sake of a quickening the trial, dont object everytime we call
your client Penguin alright?

Fine,
If you was want to strip a fellow man of his humanity…

When
I first met him, Bruce said he crashed my charity party at my
mansion by showing up uninvited. See, I announce that everyone who
donated $50,000 to a non-profit charity in Gotham would receive a
invite to my mansion for a party.

What
did Oswald do at the party to qualify as crashing it? Mr.
Dent asked

He
harassed my butler, multiple times according to Alfred, and spoke in
a perverted nature to one of my female guest.

Last
time I checked, Sasha stated aloud Being perverted was not a
crime, acting on it was. Did my client do anything other then talk to
her?

Ms.
Striker, wait your turn or Ill find you in contempt! The Judge
ordered. Sasha took a deep sigh and let it out through her teeth.

When
Dent went back to question Bruce farther, the woman quietly muttered
Pain in the ass! Penguin lifted his head off the table.

Whas
goin on? He groggily asked.

Nothin,
Sasha muttered Go back to sleep, Ozzy

kay,
Ma. He answered before putting his head back on the table, going
back to sleep.

Aww.
Aint that adorable… She smiled and rubbed her hand through
his red hair.

…
And when I came to Wayne Manor, the Batman had tied Oswald Cobblepot
and hung him over the front of my home. Bruce finished Not
exactly the best way to leave a man for the police, but I was
relieved and able to sleep soundly again when they sent him back to
Arkham.

Members
of the Jury, Harvey stated If an unprovoked attack aimed at Mr.
Waynes life doesnt convince you, Im afraid nothing will.
Your Honor?

Alright,
Please be seated, Mr. Dent. The judge dismissed. Would you like
to cross-examine the witness?

If
I may. Sasha politely said as she got up Oswald, wake up!
She snapped. Penguin simply gave a wordless whine as he waved her
away before burying his head in his arms. Your Honor, permission
to let a sleeping dog lie? She asked

Granted.
If only because we all know this room is safer with the Defendant
unconscious.

Mr.
Wayne. She started Mr. Cobblepot stated yesterday that he had a
reason for his actions.

How
can I forget a homicidal maniac like him screaming at me like that?
Bruce answered

Did
he ever tell you that reason or reasons?

Bruce
shrugged He mentioned that the Waynes and Cobblepots were old-time
rivals, but I never even heard the name Cobblepot until that night we
first met.

Yes,
youre parents were killed in your youth, correct?

Relevance,
your honor! Dent yelled.

Ms.
Striker? The judge warned

I
withdraw the statement… but not the question… She darkly
stated. Mr. Wayne, exactly how did my client present himself to
you that night he, quote crashed the party unquote?

Like
any other man, I guess…

She
looked at the Jury and smiled So, it was only after he escaped out
of Arkham the first time did his vendetta come at you?

Shes
leading the witness, Your Honor!

Why
cant you
shut up?!
Sasha yelled back at Dent. God!

Order!
Order! The judge called, banging his gavel

Order?
Is it Lunch Time already? Sasha smiled and looked at her watch.
Well, what do you know? It is! Lunch Break everyone! She called
out in the courtroom Meet back here in an hour, thank you.

Ms.
Striker! The judge yelled You are in contempt and made this
trial a travesty!

It
didnt need her help. Dent spoke freely. Sorry, your honor.
Everyones thinking it, Im just saying it. Sasha started to
growl in frustration before she stormed out, screamed obscenities at
all in her path, leaving the courtroom silent until…

Ugh…
Penguin groaned as he woke up. He rubbed his head to try and sooth a
pounding headache Whatd I miss?

—

This
isnt working! Scar yelled in the lobby I had it all planned
out! Ive never had a plan go off with
a hitch before! Gah!
Why?! Her posse cringed at her anger before Zeke spoke up.

We
could still break him out of Arkham. With Hounder and Buckshot on the
inside, itd be easy.

NO!
The woman yelled WE
ARE DOING THIS MY
WAY!

Yes,
sir. Zeke muttered in fear.

This
city! This Goddamn
city! Scar took a very deep breath through her nose and closed her
eyes. She let her breath out extremely slowly and growled God,
I love it!
The challenge! The fear of failure! Ive never felt these before!
Rogues, are we no longer, boys! She told her muscle. Gotham is
our home now. Just as soon as we bribe a jailbird out of his cage.
Bart!

Yes,
maam? He asked, still standing behind his father for safety.

Get
your camera! Follow Judge Hudspeth and find every grain of dirt hes
hiding in his closet! Every little secret he has had better be on my
desk by morning! Zeke, Luther, break out Hounder and Buckshot and
track down the jurors and see what you can get on them for me! GO!
She yelled, sending the men scrambling out the door No one beats
Scar! Not the government, not the General, and definitely NOT
the legal system! She took another cleansing breath before
entering the courtroom.

Here,
I am! Sasha said happily. Now, have I got a defense for you!

Ms.
Striker. The judge sighed We all know your sleepy client is
insane, we just need to make it official tomorrow.

I
would like to claim temporary insanity for my client caused by the
constantly meddling Batman.

Excuse
me?

Did
my client go by The Penguin before Batman first stopped him? No!
Batman forced Oswald to assume a new name while he took revenge. I
theorize that if Oswald is broken out of the Batman cycle of revenge,
he will not go back to the crimes that he committed for the sole
purpose of bring the vigilante to his grasps.

—

Thomas
Hudspeth unlocked his houses door and set his briefcase down next
to the coatrack before walking into the living room.

Nice
place you got. A young voice said.

Thomas
turned around quickly to see Bart in a lounge chair smiling and
looking at ease.

How
did you get in my house, you kid? Thomas demanded Do you know
what you can serve in Juvie for this?

No,
and I dont care. Bart answered with a smile.

This
is your last chance. Go now and I wont call the police.

Actually,
Bat paused to laugh Its YOUR last chance. He snapped his
fingers and suddenly the room filled with growling.. Through the dark
shadows of the room, ten or more lionesses and their male, Kovu,
crouched in attack position, all aiming for the judge. What do you
say we have a heart to heart talk about the verdict tomorrow?

—

Dont
cha just love those mornings where everything goes right and you feel
like Fate is smiling on you for once? Sasha smiled to a grim-faced
Penguin.

They
dont allow that in Arkham. He muttered. Sasha burst out
laughing.

You
crack me up, Ozzy. She laughed.You crazy guy.

Youre
supposed to prove Im not
crazy! He yelled.

I
am, and I did. I have a good feeling about the verdict today. She
smiled.

Oh?
Which part proved my sanity exactly?

You
were asleep at the time…

Musta
been something funny about that sandwich.

Not
my
sandwich. Sasha innocently said, putting a delicate hand on her
chest. Maybe you are

You
say Crazy and I swear to God, I will make you regret it for as
long as you live!

Big
talk for a man handcuffed to a table.

I
can do plenty with one hand, sister.

$10
says you said that before you lost your virginity. She snickered.

You
are bugging the wrong bird, you broad!

Dont
tell me you dont like it.

Are
you flirting with me?

Depends.
Is it working?

Im
sorry. The position of crazy unwanted woman in my life has already
been taken!

Doubt
it.

Hey,
I can get any woman in Gotham if I wanted to!

Then
why havent you?

Ive
been preoccupied.

With
The Batman?

Zip
it. Oswald muttered

All
rise. The bailiff called. All but The Penguin rose. Sasha growled
quietly and slammed her high hell on his shoe.

AH!
Penguin shot out of his seat and grabbed his injured foot. You
bitch.

Mutant.
She smirked back. A sudden gasp. All eyes turned to Judge Hudspeth
limping, placing a lot of his weight on a cane. Penguin heard Sasha
snicker. When she saw he was looking at her, she gasped a bit loudly
and placed her hand over her mouth. She knew what happened to the
judge. When the Judge finally limped to his seat the bailiff called
You may be seated.

Has
the jury reached a verdict? The Judge muttered.

The
first juror stood up and gulped. We have, Your Honor. In light of
Ms. Strikers defense for Oswald Cobblepot, we, the jury have found
the defendant a victim of aggravated temporary insanity at the hands
of The Batman and we suggest the erasure of his criminal records as a
result. So says I, so say we all?

Yes.
The jury agreed simultaneously.

So
be it. The judge decreed.

What?
Oswald said out loud.

Oswald
C. Cobblepots record will be cleaned and he shall be released a
sane member of society, however, I
believe he must be watched carefully and have a ankle bracelet place
on him to ensure he isnt tempted by our Caped Crusader. Court
dismissed. A slam of his gavel and the judge was helped by the
bailiff out of the seat.

Sasha
smirked and closed Penguins gaping mouth. Congratulations, Mr.
Cobblepot. She said gently as a guard approached Penguin.

The
officer unlocked the handcuff and said Youll turn in your
uniform and get your stuff in the backroom.

Better
hurry. Sasha whispered as she gathered her stuff to leave.I
heard a secret admirer sent a car for you.

Oh,
goody. Her
again. Ozzy muttered and he was respectfully lead to the back room
to change.

Sasha
smiled and threw her briefcase in a trash can by her desk. Now to
wash this junk out of my hair. She muttered before running full
speed out of the courthouse.