Batman Porn Story: Whos Using Who Chapter 2

Authors
Notes: I hope you know by now this a fanfic about The Batman Series,
somewhere before the third season, cause I never really like Batmans
sidekicks. My opinion is that Batmans much deeper and interesting
without a kid delivering a lame one-liner.

I
always loved a ruder Penguin over a gentlemen Penguin. Its a much
funnier character and a better contrast between how he looks and how
he acts.

—

The
Batman looked down with a emotionless face. The Penguin lay slouched
against the wall, unconscience, his red hair messed up in the fight,
top hat cast aside across the room along with his trick umbrella. The
one with the lethal blade at the tip. The Batman pulled out a pair of
handcuffs and clicked one around the mans wrist and the other
around an exhibit tables leg that was bolted to the floor.

Bruce
Wayne didnt know why this man never learned. Penguin would steal,
and fight him everytime, and everytime, hed lose. Physically, it
wasnt a fair fight, but… what drives a man who at first
presented himself to Bruce Wayne so respectably, so… sanely, into
becoming a criminal willing to kill or be killed for money? Batman
silently turned away and left. He knew he had other places the Batman
was needed.

It
took a few minutes for the Penguin to stir. Of course, after seeing
the handcuff, he wished he was still out cold. Penguin stood up and
started fumbling with the tether. In the back of his mind he knew it
was useless, but Cobblepots never go down without a fight. Or at
least usually not without trying begging and pleading afterwards
fighting doesnt work.

Footsteps.

Penguin
groaned. The police were third on his Most Hated list. Right behind
The Batman and Bruce Wayne. A woman stood in the shadows across the
room, hands on her hips. Cops dont do that, Penguin thought. The
woman slid through the dark to pick up the Umbrella.

You
build this? She asked.

Whats
it to you? Penguin snapped back.

A
muscled man just a bit overweight with a black beard lining his chin
came in the room, bringing a growl to the silence. An animalistic
growl. A teen came in behind him, a hood over his head and a gasoline
can in his hand.

Just
curious. The woman answered. But werent we supposed to do
this tomorrow, Ozzy?

Scarlet?!
Penguin squawked.

As if
on cue, she, and her men, stepped out of the shadows. Apparently, she
loved military style as much as military history. Black combat boots
on her feet with red skulls craved into them seemed to blend almost
seamlessly into her tight pants. Her two belt remained suddenly
looking heavy with pockets stuffed with equipment. A tight dark red
shirt cut off at the shoulders and she wore long black opera gloves
up to her elbows. Around her face was a crimson red Blindfold
kind of mask almost completely hidden by a wild mane of black hair.

Why
so surprised? She asked with a smart smile.

You
didnt exactly look like the Breaking-and-Entering Type to
me. Penguin answered still trying to get out of the cuffs.

Always
expect the unexpected. She replied, coming closer. She spun the
umbrella in her hand once before cutting the handcuff line in a
swing. Youll need bolt cutters to get the cuff part off. She
muttered

Howd
you find me? Penguin asked, trying to pull the cuff off of his
wrist.

I
may be new to Gotham but I know a greedy little thief when I see one.
And I knew that youd steal my bike to get the statue without me
and– Scarlet was going to go on, but the growling suddenly
increased. Zeke. She warned.

Penguin
looked up to see the man was glaring intently at him, baring his
teeth while looking very tense. At Scarlets word, the growling
stopped and the man stuffed his fists in his jackets pocket.

Something
made a splash. Penguin turned to see the teen splashing gasoline all
over the floor Whats he doing? He asked with a little worry.

I
think that little theft places you in my debt. Scarlet continued,
as if the bird man had remained silent. Guess youre gonna have
to work with me. So, call me The Lioness. Or Scar if you want. I
prefer Scar because…. Well, lets just hope you never find out
why. Penguin wasnt listening.

Is
that kid throwing gasoline on the floor? He pointed at the teen.

Bart!
Scarlet barked at the boy You spreading gas? She asked

Yeah.
Bart answered quickly. Man, this is be so sweet!
He laughed at the horrible thought of raging fires.

Well,
then we better get going. The woman said, leaving the room.

Give
us a two minute head start, boy. Zeke said, following Scarlet
Boss doesnt need anymore scars after what shes been
through.

Got
it! HAHA!

Tell
me that kids not… gonna… Penguin stopped mid-sentence when
the room behind them suddenly flooded with light.

EVERYTHING
BURNS! HAHAHA! YEAH!
Bart laughed as he stumbled backwards into the rest of the group. He
bumped into Zeke who wrapped an arm around him.

Thats
my boy, the little Pyromaniac. He laughed kindly, rubbing a fist
into his son head in a playing fight.

What
have you gotten yourself into this time, Ozzy? Penguin asked
himself.

—

The
Police cruiser slowed to a halt and two policemen got out, slamming
their doors behind them. Crash! A window burst apart as flames roared
out from between the broken glass. Penguins gone too far this
time. One cop said. Fire department on its way?

Yeah,
but its growing really fast. It must of been started with gas or
something.

—

Up on
the rooftop, Zeke busted the door open. Penguin and Scarlet ran out,
but Bart looked back. Look at it go! he said, cackling like a
hyena. Burn, Baby, Burn!

Zeke
grabbed Barts shoulders and said Come on! as he yanked him
out of the stairwell. Youll get yourself killed like that.
He told his son Where to now, Boss?

Scarlet
looked to the building next door and took a run towards the edge of
the building before jumping. Almost flawlessly, she flipped in midair
before landing on the roof next door, 7 feet away. Right! Zeke
said. He took a run towards the edge and managed to get to the other
side while his son did the same.

Penguin
pushed a button on the umbrella, causing it to open and the top to
start rotating until it shredded the fabric and the four helicopter
blades started lifting Penguin off the ground.

See?
I told you guys hed be fun ta have around. Scarlet said. Come
on, Oz! She called Cops are everywhere and I doubt you wanna go
home with them.

Actually,
Penguin answered as he started being lifted higher in the air I
dont think this relationships gonna work. Bye!

What?!
Scarlet snarled as Penguin and his copter flew away in the other
direction. No one dumps Scarlet Stersmat! She yelled

No
ones dated you before. Bart mentioned.

Shut
up!
She snapped You two follow him. She growled dangerously. Find
where he lives and call the cops on him.

You
want us to put your new plaything in prison? Zeke asked Why?

One,
for revenge for dumping me and two, well, She laughed Its
more fun that way.

Your
Fun is starting to get a little weird, Auntie Scar… Bart
said

Shut
up, boy. Zeke muttered.

GO!
Scar yelled.

—

Penguins
copter landed him behind a rundown building almost ready to crumble
in on itself. Hardly fitting for the last of the Cobblepot family,
but there werent a lot of places Penguin could go without tipping
the police off to his whereabouts.

On a
building towering over the old factory, two creatures resembling
hyenas hunched over, watching the short man through their blood red
eyes, their bodies barely visible against the dark night sky. The
tall one was 8 feet tall was covered in ungroomed dark yellow fur,
dotted with dark spots, with long black hair trailing down his neck
and a patch of black hair hanging from his chin. The large pointed
ears he had were bitten in a few places, leaving small half-circles
in the flesh. An eyepatch cover his left eye and a stitch run
underneath the right eye.

The
smaller one, about 5 feet tall, was more greyish then blue. His fur
was smoothed down, and dotted as well. The black hair on the back on
his neck was shorter and brushed back.

There
he is. The small hyena creature stood up and said. Lets go.
The bigger one lingered, not following the other as his son jumped
from ledge to ledge to get down. Dad, lets go. the young
called back. The older hyena glanced down at Penguin walking up to
the buildings side entrance before following.

Tweet-Tweet!
Penguin called, bursting through the doors. Im back, everyone!
His words were answered with caws and squawks of his four trained
birds, along with a few stray pigeons there for free food. An Asian
Owl, a Vulture, a European Raven and a common Finch. All perched on a
few crates surrounding a hammock hung between support beams. Sorry
Im late. He told them. I had a real crazy night. Dont
ask.

Caw!

Zip
it, Crow. Penguin snapped at the Raven. Im not in the mood.
He tossed his umbrella on a crate next to the birds with a few other
identical umbrellas. Vulture pecked at the umbrella as Oswald climbed
into the hammock. Unhappy that the umbrella had no meat, Vulture let
out a caw. I know. I know. Penguin muttered. Youre
hungry.
Im
hungry! So do me a favor and eat each other. He said, pulling a
few blankets over his body. He took out the monocle in front of his
right eye, and set it on a crate before turned away from the birds.

Finch
suddenly decided his trainers nest was a much safer spot to perch
when Owl and Vulture looked hungrily at him. Finch flapped his little
wings to fly on to Penguins side before hopping up to his
shoulder. A small glide landed the tiny bird in front of the humans
face.

Finch
chirped. Penguin brushed the tiny thing away before sinking deeper
into his pillow to sleep. Finch stayed in midair for only a moment
before landing in the same spot. He let out a tweet, and hopped a
little closer, cocking his little head to one side. Penguins mouth
was open in his sleep and the opening smelled like food. So, in the
birds mind, if it smells like food, food must be in there. And
Finch was
hungry. Another hop closer to the opening and… Finch chirped
happily again and stuck his head in Penguins mouth.

Blak!
Penguin shot out of his hammock, and spat the bird out, choking on
the taste of feathers in his mouth Bla!
Ugh… Ew! FINCH!
He yelled. The tiny bird landed on Penguins monocle, away from the
angry human. Penguin reach into his mouth and pulled out a tiny
feather Ugh!
What are you doing?! Do I look like a bird feeder? Chirp..
Why, I oughta–!

A
board creaked under someones weight.

The
birds looked to the sounds origin and took flight to find out what
caused it. Whas that? Penguin muttered. He quickly put on
his monocle and sat up the hammock. Batman? He grabbed one of
the umbrellas and stood on his feet. No one gets the jump on The
Penguin on his turf. he told the intruder.

Caw,
Caw!
It was Raven by the side door. Penguin ran towards the side of the
room to see Raven cawing at whatever was behind the side door.
Penguin growled to himself, before flipping the blade on the tip of
the umbrella out. He kicked the door open and…

Freeze!
More then ten policemen surrounded the door Penguin just kicked open,
gun pointed directly at him Drop your weapon! The Sargent
ordered.

Like
I have a choice. Penguin muttered before he angrily tossed his
umbrella at the cops feet. A policemen grabbed him by the shoulder
and handcuffed him. Caw!
Raven was on a window sill, looking down at him Thanks for the
warning, Crow! He sarcastically told the bird.

Lets
go, psycho. The cop said, shoving Penguin towards the armored van.
Where youre going, you wont have to worry about crows
anymore.

Raven
heard another sound from inside the building and flew up to the
second story. He landed on the railing and cawed. The hyena creatures
watched the Penguin get loaded into the Police van and the cop cars
drive away through a dirty old broken window.

What
do you think Bosss plan is this
time, Bart? the biggest one asked.

You
know Auntie Scar better then I do, Dad. Bart answered Both of
you were Best Friends in the G.A.A.S. program 13 years ago. You were
there when she didnt know what to do after she killed that boy all
those years ago. What is she always after? He asked

We
were raised from youth for the Military. His father answered We
always had to do things the hard way. I guess having Military
training makes things too easy for her taste.

Maybe
she wants Penguin because hes so independent that hell make
Scars plans harder to do. Bart suggested.

Maybe,
but its not our place to ask questions, boy. Zeke warned. Good
soldiers dont ask questions.

Im
not a soldier, Dad. Bart said, looking at his father I dont
have military training like the rest of you. Im just some kid you
had thats trying to follow in your paw prints.

You
dont need training, kid. Zeke brought his son closer with his
large, heavily muscled forepaw. I knew from the moment you took
out my eye with your milk bottle that you didnt need any training.
You were a natural-born villain from Day One and I knew you were
going to make me a very proud father.

Bart
nuzzled against his fathers chest. I wont let cha down,
Dad.

You
havent yet. Zeke said with a smile as he rubbed his cheek
against his son. Just try to keep you common sense when you light
a fire. He said as he stood on all fours and started to leave.

Dont
count on it. Bart said, following his dad You know Im insane
like that.

Yeah?
He chuckled Is that right? Maybe I should drop you off at Arkham,
and take a vacation for once.

Daa-aad!
Bart laughed. Knock it off.

Im
kidding. Im kidding. Now, come on. He jumped down over stairs
to the first floor. Boss doesnt like waiting.

Ya
think shell ever show the bird-man her animal form? Bart
jokingly asked as he trotted down the stairs.

Yeah,
and the Jokers gonna get a desk job as Bruce Waynes
accountant. Zeke added just as jokingly.

—

Scarlet
spun around in the dark brown leather office chair, a cellphone
against her ear. She was in a large dark office with a few lion
painting hung on the walls. Pick up, pick up, pick up. She
whined. She tapped her free hand on a statue of a golden eagle on a
perch. One that belonged in a now destroyed Art museum. On the front
end of the desk was a row of small monitors showing the feed of
several security cameras. In front of the monitors was Kovu, her pet
lion, happily curled up watching his owner go about her business.

Finally
the ringing stopped and a man with a slight English accent answered
Tetch Laboratories, Jarvis speaking.

I
thought I told you to change your damn name, Tetch! Its weird and
Im embarrassed to say it.Jarvis… Ugh! Scar growled Try
Zachary. It sounds better.

Y-You?
The voice asked in concern which quickly turned into anger You
said if we helped you, youd leave us alone! he yelled.

Yeah,
about that… I lied. the woman smiled, taking an interest in her
nails.

What
do you want? The man grumbled

Put
Crane on the phone. Scar ordered Now.

He
just left. The man lied.

He
lives there. And so do you, Tetch. Scarlet stated. Im not an
idiot. I bought and built that lab for you two nerds, so you wouldnt
have to have a life outside of your experiments. So, Put! Crane! On!

The
man sighed and the phone went silent for a few seconds before another
mans voice said Dr. Crane.

Jon!
Scarlet said, overly-kindly Its your favorite Ex-Partner.

The
man growled Emma.

Its
Scarlet, now… Idiot.

Emma,
Scarlet, Rachel, Scar, Lioness, Will you make up your mind instead
of jumping from one name to the next?! He yelled Who are you?

I
dunno. Scarlet shrugged You know my tale as well as I do,
Johnny. I dont know my real name. Considering that my Mom chucked
me in a dumpster a few minutes after I was born, I doubt she had the
time or the affection to name me.

Mind
game, huh? Dr. Crane suddenly seemed amused and gave a soft
chuckle. Fine, What do you want?

You
have a degree in Psychology, right?

Yes,
A Ph.D in Psychology, Masters in Anthropology,

And
a Masters in Chemistry. Scarlet finished Look, just a Yes
or No answer will suffice.

Yes,
I have a degree in Psychology. Crane answered angrily through
gritted teeth.

Make
sure you write this down. Youre gonna get a job at Arkham by
tomorrow, and make sure you get assigned to a man named Oswald C.
Cobblepot.

Why?

Im
not done! Scar snapped Get Cobblepot assigned to you. Have a
few therapy session with him and make sure your reports say that hes
sane! Ok, now Im done.

Why?
Dr. Crane asked Why go through all this hassle for some human? You
hate men.

Ozzys
an exception. Scarlet ran her free hand over Kovus redish-brown
fur as she spoke. The predator stretched before turning on his back
to get Scarlet to rub his underside. AND… because its fun to
see how much the bird can take before he turns on me.

Fun?
Crane asked Most people dont consider causing yourself
problems to be Fun. Crane told the woman Most would think
people like that are psychotic.

Well,
I, for one, have never courted popularity. Scarlet answered. And
who are you call psychotic? After all those Toxin experiments I let
you do with not one person surviving without debilitating physical or
mental trauma. Now, who looks psychotic? I know it aint me.

Dr.
Crane sighed and, after a few moments of silence, he muttered What
was that place you wanted me to go to again?

The
Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane in Gotham City. Scarlet
answered And no Fear Toxins or I cut your funding and gift-wrap
you for the cops! She yelled before hanging up.

On
his end, Dr. Crane put the phone back in its cradle and sighed.
What did the Queen of Hearts want? Jarvis asked, looking up
from his work. He was a well-groomed, blonde, thin man of medium
height with bright, blue eyes that looked both playful and demented.
He was dressed in a blue trench coat with a green top hat set nearby
on his worktable.

She
wants me to get hired at some nut house and council a man named
Cobblepot. She sounded happy about it. Crane replied. He, too, was
a thin man, almost too thin for most men like him, with short, messy,
brown/black hair and dark green paranoid eyes. He wore a dark red
shirt and pants, with a regular white lab coat. That cant be
good for anyone.

Jarvis
returned to his work on a piece of machinery. How like her to
appear from within her tall tree, baffle a person or two, and
disappear with a grin. Jarvis said as sparks flew from a circuit
board he was fixing.

I
agree, but I bet its just something idiotic and pointless…
Crane groaned as he turned off his Bunsen burners.

Why
not march up to her castle of cards and tell her that, Jonathan?
Jarvis asked sarcastically. Jonathan stared at his partner in
disbelief before hanging up his lab coat and grabbing his outdoor
coat off the rack by the door

Only
if you came with me. Crane answered with a evil smile.

Ill
be right behind you all the way, my friend. Jarvis replied before
adding Where its safer.

And
how exactly is it safer behind me? Jonathan asked, straightening
his coats collar.

Because
when she exclaimed Off
with their heads!
Ill have a head start on you. Jarvis answered with a laugh. His
pocket watch started beeping. Jarvis put his tools down, took out the
watch and exclaimed Ooh! Im late! Im late!

For
a very important date? Crane finished. His laboratory companion
always quoted the White Rabbit form the old story Alice
in Wonderland.

Indeed,
A very, very
important date. Jarvis added. Putting his top hat, Jarvis join his
friend at the door.

Dinner
with your mom? Jonathan joked, as he exited

Jarviss
smile vanished yes. He admitted before following through the
door and closing it behind him.