Batman Porn Story: Babes in Toyland Chapter 1

Babes in Toyland
PG-13?
Fandom:Batverse (probably toon)
Pairing: H/I
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Length: ficletish

“Is this really necessary, Harl?” queried a sultry murmur.

“Re-ed! Stop asking me that! It’ll be fun, I PROMISE!” replied a high-pitched squeak.

Two
heads, one blonde and one red, appeared over the awning of one of the
storefronts, further dispelling the air of placidity about the place.

A
vine snaked down the front of the building, smashing the front window
as it grew. Two low thumps were heard as the pair slid down the vine to
land in front of the window.

“Mind the glass, Harl.” the redhead admonished as she climbed through the opening.

“If your vine hadn’t scattered it all over the place, I wouldn’t have to!” remarked Harley as she clamored through the window.

“I’m
sure Theodore did his best.” Ivy responded idly, patting an offshoot of
the vine fondly. Looking around the place, her nose wrinkled. “There
doesn’t appear to be an internal security system at all. Which, considering the ambiance of the place, really shouldn’t surprise me.”

“Red, you’re taking all the fun out of this. Besides, all the good stuff is in here,”
said Harley, dragging Ivy towards a darkened room in the back. “See?”
exclaimed Harley as she flipped the switch, illuminating the room,
“Shiny!”

“Mm-hmm,” replied Ivy, looking distinctly unimpressed.

Harley
ignored the less-than-favourable response as she flitted around the
room, selecting objects and bringing them over for Ivy to hold. As she
finished loading up her own arms, she wandered back over to Ivy with a
triumphant look on her face. “Ta-da!” she exclaimed.

Ivy’s
unimpressed look had been replaced with a confused furrow on her brow
as she surveyed the piles in her and Harley’s arms. “Harl,” she said.
“Why-“

Harley’s perky smile became slightly forced as she
interrupted. “Look, I just want to spice up our sex life a little,
okay?” she squeaked.

Ivy stared at her as an eyebrow rose entirely of its own accord. “Harl, we already have all of this stuff.”

Harley’s smile disappeared entirely and she started to squirm. “There was sorta an accident?”

“An accident? What sort of accident could possibly involve our collection of sex toys?” Ivy asked incredulously.

“Erm,” replied Harley. “The sort that also involves Bud, Lou, and sharp pointy teeth?”

Harley
watched, concerned, as the pile of toys dropped to the floor. Ivy was
making an odd snorting sound as she leaned against the wall. Theodore
began collecting the toys with his vines as his mistress dissolved into
laughter.